The finnal card

There's nothing any more.
I hide it all from the world.
No one knows who I really am.
I only wish you'd understand.

I had my reasons,
No doubt they're there.
I know I have betrayed you.
I didn't know what to do.

I never should have said I'm sorry.
It doesn't take the pain away.
I couldn't stop myself
I shouldn't have asked you for help.

Leave me here to waste away.
In the world there's no pain
But leave me here to die.
Don't worry, I will not cry.

I never thought you'd do it.
I never thought that I could let you.
I thought you fell,
you only ever did so well.

I was never truely jelous of her.
She was the one that suited you
of the two of us.
No, I don't think that me I could trust.

Can there be more?
How can there be?
Who am I to judge you?
Who am I to judge what you do?

Leave me alone.
You're far too involved.
Go away forever.
It's only clever.

I'm a monster.
Don't deny it.
I know I am
That is where I stand.

It's only to protect you.
Don't cross my word.
I understand you,
you don't have a clue. . .

There's more behind this wall.
You never saw what lies here
under all the scars.
The real me is so far.

Please don't do this
to me atleast.
It's dangerous.
My god you're vigorous.

I'm walking out the door.
I know there is nothing.
Nothing is good.
This, is good.

I've decided you'll never leave.
It's all up to me.
As it always was to tell you
what lies ahead to run into.

Now I do it again.
Please, listen to it.
I know it is hard.
but this, is the finnal card.

I lost my best friend.

I lost my best fried today,
somehow, our paths have gone astray.
When did you go away,
My dear best friend, comeback to me, in some way.
Please don't turn away,
from me, do you remember the days?
We lived, we laughed, we loved, we sayed
together,
forever.
I know there is nothing whatsoever
that can bring you back to me.
So just remember me.
Take some time to think of you, of me.
Know I love you still,
know that there is something still
there connecting us till
the ends of our days.
So come back to me.
You seem to never have left me in ways.
Your memories live on in my heart.
I don't know where to start.
I love you.
For you there's nothing I wouldn't do.
I knw it's obsurd, but true.
So please come back to me, I don't know what to do.

The way he loved me.

I am missing him, it hurts me. Just thinking about him. He's everywhere I look, every where I go. His memories are locked in everything he ever gave to me. My Necklace, the ring, my jacket that I sleep in at night. I smell him in the mornings as my shower steam clears away. I see his gentle smile when I think I hear his voice. Knowing he is gone and is not comming for me is hard. What can I do? When he is no where to wipe away the tears he doesn't know he caused? He'd kill for me, all those who hurt me, I hope he never kills himself. I hope he doesn't kill me.

I did this, I took myself away. There was nothing I could do to spare our hearts. His tears haunt me when I think of all his pain. I know that in his eyes, there is nothing worse than what I have done. He is unknowingly the center of my world, the very thing that I woud kill for if it made him happy. I would do anything to see him smile again, to hear him laugh. Instead I can only cry about it. He hates it hwen I cry, but here I am, doing it all over again. That tear that never leaves my eyes, hardened by the love he gave to me.

He taught me to never cry, but I can't stop.

Tell Me

Tell me where you want to be.
Tell me what you want from me.
Show me what you see.
I want to know. . .

I want to know what you know,
I want my care for you to show.
I wish that you wouldn't throw
all I have, away.

Don't throw me away.
Don't tell me your skies are grey.
I know that you are afraid.
That much, I know I can say.

Hey! No, don't leave, what'd I say?
Please come back, don't play
with me like this, don't delay!
God I hate you.

I hate you,
but you're always there, it's true.
I know that, but I love you, too.
How else can you tear me?

How can you tear me
apart without any feeling, how can that be?
Is it true, that you can not tell me
what is wrong, that I have done?

What have I done wrong?

Watching over you.

I'm lost, waiting to be found.
You're there, you're lookng all around.
Why am I not making any sound?
What's stopping you from knowing that I'm not so far away?

I'm watching you.
I'll follow you.
To make sure no harm befalls on you.
If only you could see, I'm not so far away.

My cries are lost,
In a wind so soft.
You thought you heard my voice.
Can it be that I am not so far away?

I'll sit on this bough
figuring how to show I love you, somehow. . .
You're crying now, my phone is ringing now.
I answer to a voice that's far away.

"Hun, I miss you."
If I could, my love, I'd kiss you.
"good night, my love," that's all I can do.
That and watch you, from far away.

You fell asleep a while ago
on the phone, you had to go
to a place with comfort and flow.
In your dreams you know that I am never far away.

I look into your mind
see the horrors I've left behind.
Please don't let your love decline
I'm left to pray from not very far away.

Let me push your window open,
Let me tell you with words unspoken.
Please let this be the token
to no longer be so far away.

I see you are in pain,
that your world is in distain.
There is nothing I wouldn't do to drain
your pain away.

There's nothing I can do
for the man that quakes in you!!!
I know you wish for something to do
To take my pain away.

The only thing that pains me,
is knowing that my baby
is the one whos suffers from What I have be-
come, from far away.

I leave you with this message,
that no longer should you be pensive
Baby please, please don not be pensive!
I'm never too far away. . .